Jealousy exists in everyone’s life; it can be with your friends, colleagues, neighbors’, sometimes your boss, and what if this feeling arises with your life partner? Yes, many of us feel jealous of our partner’s ex-partner.
This is because we are not comfortable with our partner’s previous sexual and romantic history. Therefore, it has such feelings in concern with your partner’s ex. Retroactive jealousy is a feeling which occurs when the person gets jealous about past happening and relationships.
Sometimes it’s for the moment, but it’s critical when it tends to be fleeting with high frequency. This frequency disturbs your peace of mind and relations with your partner, although he is loyal to you. If you adopt such behavior, it may signify retroactive jealousy.
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What is Retroactive jealousy?
If we define good health’, it’s the condition in which a person is fit in both ways, physical and mental. Retroactive jealousy is a psychological condition, or we can say a form of anxiety where we face unwanted relations of our partner’s previous life, and we missed our current life too.
This is so obsessive that it was pecking us all time, either day or night. We can’t focus on anything. Just we lost in our partner’s ex-relationship. Unnecessary we consider our partner as a cheater. It does not keep its limit until these thoughts only; sometimes negative thoughts lead to violent behaviors against our partner.
Every activity of our partner seems suspicious. It’s an obsessive thought which keeps us mentally unfit. It affects our relationship with our partners. It pushes us to compare ourselves with our previous relationships or sexual partners.
Retroactive Jealousy OCD
Retroactive jealousy is also referred to as OCD, which means obsessive-compulsive disorder. This illness demonstrates the same thoughts and behavioral patterns.
This is characterized by intrusive thoughts and mental movies that automatically replay in the mind. These both mental disorders exhibit repetitions of the same thoughts. This spoils relationships patient’s life too.
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Symptoms of Retroactive Jealousy
- As we said earlier that it’s normal to feel jealous of your partner’s past relationships. And it can be a little bit struggles to accept the truth, but that doesn’t mean that you have any such problem of OCD. Instead, the person faces more severe symptoms. This person is stuck into a no-win situation of negative thoughts that damage the relationship and the individuals’ health.
- One of the primary and essential emotional changes found in the patient is fear. This person generally fears losing their partner due to their past relations. As a result, they always drown in the thought of losing their partner and always live in mental stress.
- The second everyday activity of these people is quizzing. They frequently asked multiple questions with their partner regarding their previous relationship. Sometimes they ask the same thing repeatedly, which leads to arguments between them.
- Numerous people faced this problem who felt that they had been cheated by their partner in the context of sex. They feel that they missed the opportunities of sexual life as their partners have more sexual experience than they have.
- These people are generally busy browsing the internet. However, they want to know more about their feelings and thoughts. So they try to find out more about the previous sexual partner of their partner through social media and other sources from the internet. Sometimes they do unethical hacking and use sources to check out the mails and messages of their partner.
- They use sardonic language while talking to their partner and taunts regarding their previous sexual life, creating unnecessary arguments.
- These people fight with their partners without any valid reasons. They have nothing wrong with the relationships, but they create chaos themselves in their life.
Types of Retroactive Jealousy
In this, partners feel typical jealously in their relationship. Although it does not feel the same from the other side, suffer is uncomfortable with his existing relationship. Here a person may feel competitive with his partner’s past relations. But at this stage person’s jealousy has not developed at violent thoughts.
At this stage, a person begins to question on values of his partner’s relationship. The sufferer thinks himself as innocent and his partner as immoral. He may begin to judge his partner very harshly. Used taunting way to talk. He begins to think of his partner as the culprit, without any evidence for it.
He interferes with his partner’s life as whatever he wears, how he laughs, and even about certain dishes to eat. Now patient moves towards the third stage as he does not like his partner’s calmness and smooth life.
This stage is also called Retroactive jealousy OCD. This is the most severe condition as the violence begins to manifest at this stage. This disorder indulges in very unhealthy activities. Some like following their partners’ way to work, hacking into browser history.
Every time the person weaves the story about his partner’s previous relationship. The perceived threats possess this. This stage becomes so chronic as it controls the whole system and lifestyle. The person is lost in the fake world of his partner’s relationship, whether sleeping, eating, or even doing his routine.
At this stage, the treatment of the person is exceptionally challenging. As with other OCDs, here you have to compel yourself to think positive. which is not an easy task for the person because he indulges in withdrawal symptoms and at this stage, the person becomes more irritable or sometimes violent.
Because he has to force himself to think positive towards his partner’s relationship. However, here the most challenging aspect is seeking mental and emotional relief from repressed thoughts you have created about your partner’s past relationship.
Endless rumination of the past relationship sometimes seems dangerous. This may lead to anger, paranoia, doubt, and jealousy for the partner. Ultimately this destroys the relationship. These people have all facts and figures to justify their behaviors and thoughts. At this time, he may lose the ability to think clearly as negative thoughts constantly cloud his mind.
How can you save yourself from retroactive jealously?
“Nothing is impossible” if you decide to do. We have several ways that can keep a person free from feelings of retroactive jealousy.
First, a person should engage himself in his work and self-reflection activities like meditation, strolling in nature, reading spiritual books, and the essential thing is visiting the therapist. Therapy can offer relief by dealing with your anxieties. The therapist can help you accept your partner’s previous relationship and improve your mental health.
You must learn to break the cycle of jealous thoughts; for this, he has to do the following things:
- Accept the truth that your partner has previous life just like you, but now he is yours.
- Concentrate on your work on an underlying issue.
- Stop doing those activities, which leads to jealous feelings for your partner.
- Express your love to your partners; tell them your likes and dislikes. Talk to someone.
- Identify the cause of your negative feelings.
- Go for medical attention if you believe that you suffer from retroactive jealousy OCD. This will help you.
- Derive your power and worth. Keep your self-esteem high.
Treatments for Retroactive Jealousy
“Where the will there is the way” is one of the keys said during the treatment of this problem. If you decide to cure yourself or you want to control the negative thoughts, only then you can overcome this problem. There are a few treatments that can help you from retroactive jealousy.
- Medication: In this condition, you should consult psychiatrists, who prescribe you the best therapy and treatments.
- Hypnotherapy: This Therapy is famous nowadays for it’s the highly-therapeutic benefits. When anyone is under hypnosis, his mind settles into a favorable position.
- In this, you will be open to accepting guidance and suggestions from others. So this leads to positive affirmations and advice for you. This helps to re-frame the way of your subconscious mind and thinking.
- Relationship counseling: Counseling is one of the best ways to work on the relationship with your partner. When your counselor works with you and your partner, you find the opportunity to express your anxiety and its solutions.
Q. 1 Can I discuss with my partner retroactive jealousy?
Ans. It’s not that if you are in retroactive jealousy, then you’re a terrible person, only you’re dealing with some unwanted emotions. Please discuss your partner about this before it may get worse.
Q.2 I have retroactive jealousy. Can it ruin my relationship?
Ans. Yes, it will. If it is not discussed!
We are not scaring you by providing this information. We want that people should be aware of their mental health. They need care and treatment if they suffer from the same issues in their life. By giving you a glimpse of the Retroactive jealousy OCD, we hope you will get proactive treatment by a professional if you need it.
It’s essential to remember that this is dangerous in both aspects, whether psychological or physical. Not only you, but it is harmful to your partner too. Having the best treatment can save you and your partners’ lives at the right time.